Characters have the inalienable right to:
1. expect plots they can comprehend. 2. have a complete character sketch drawn prior to commencement of work so said character can act accordingly and thereby remain true to said character until such time the novel is completed. 3. persuade the writer through dream manipulation that an outline would be conducive to the desired outcome, thereby allowing characters a glimpse of their current course in life. 4. be given believable dialogue. 5. demand that their immediate surroundings be described to avoid blundering into the dreaded gray zone. 6. keep sensitive body parts like eyes from falling into their laps, flying across rooms, or stabbing other characters, and use them for their intended purpose--to see, to gaze, to examine, etc. 7. Seek work elsewhere if writer takes more than ten years to complete work, or, if said work is of monumental proportion. 8. hire themselves out for side jobs during periods of extensive research, drunken escapades, extended vacations, and other forms of writer-induced hibernation. 9. sever relations with any and all characters once said work is completed unless it is mutually agreed upon by all concerned that a sequel would serve in their best interests. However, characters so choosing, and who find themselves together in another novel, inscribed with new personae, must abide by the law that all prior occurrences must not be used to sway or taint current job specifications, bringing instead, new character traits to each work. 10. Petition for their withdrawal if they find their part has been left unresolved, or if they should conclude their presence has no consequence to the action of the story.
Character must petition the Insiders Guild prior to abandoning their work. If the Guild finds that more than three or more of the petitioner’s rights have been abused, the Guild will induce a state of Writer’s Block until such time the aggrieved character is released from duty via the introduction of a new character or until the Writer burns or otherwise destroys said manuscript.
The petitioner is then free to frequent past locations until such time a call goes out for character traits matching freed character, wherein said character must show up for inspection by the Interviewing Writer and must remain in the general vicinity until the Writer chooses to include or preclude said character.
Under no circumstances can characters abandon work on their own accord, save for minor digressions. Deserters will be banished to 100 years imprisonment in their most detested past work. As characters, we must maintain the integrity of our chosen profession. Any deviation would result in anarchy, ultimately destroying our own livelihoods.