Chaos: No wonder he can't get food delivered in a reasonable amount of time after ordering.

Decimal: (whups out a laptop) Divertissement....
Jade: (off the top of his head) An amusement; diversion. You have got to upgrade, Deci.
Decimal: (growls)

* * *

Hexadecimal was bored.

Jade: (eyes wide)
Chaos: Duck and cover! (dives to the floor)
Decimal: Erk.

It had been cycles since anything exciting had happened in Mainframe, and she was just itching to create a little chaos. She was seated in front of her looking glass, admiring the system and its inhabitants as they went about their humdrum, uninteresting lives.

"What do you think, Scuzzy?" she asked her pet, who was hovering a few pixels away from her, "What do you say we make their lives a little more interesting?"

Chaos: (as Hexadecimal) Let's send a horde of nulls rampaging through the lower levels!
Jade: (as Hexadecimal) Let's force Dot to be the Guardian and Bob to run Mainframe's businesses.
Decimal: (as Hexadecimal) Let's take control of the paint program.

The multicoloured mouse-cat hesitated, which intrigued his mistress; Scuzzy always liked her ideas.

Jade: Scuzzy knew where the clawed hand put the food.

"What's the matter? Have you been prowling around Al's dumpsters again?" Scuzzy shook himself back and forth in a mock "no." He seemed distressed about something.

Jade: Lending credit to theory that he's been prowling around Al's dumpsters again.

Hexadecimal's mask switched from complacent to frustrated. "No?!" she virtually roared. "Then what's your problem?"

Chaos: (as Scuzzy) You haven't fed me in a while and that dog is guarding Dot's recycle bins.

Scuzzy backed off a bit, then presented his mistress with his viewscreen. Hexadecimal came in for a closer look, peering closer at the mouse-cat's head.

The scene Scuzzy was playing was of Megabyte talking to Hack and Slash in his Tor. "A delete command, masked as a mask," he was saying. "She will never know what erased her."

Chaos: Awww....! Scuzzy wubs his mistress!

Hexadecimal cocked her head and her mask became concerned. "Scuzzy, are you ill? I've seen that before. Remember? We gave my dear brother a taste of his own medicine. You do remember that lovely bomb we sent him, don't you?"

Jade: (as Hexadecimal) I'm not going to have to repair you, am I?
Decimal: (as Scuzzy, spasmodic 'no' shaking)

Skuzzy shook himself in frustration. He had always hated how he could never properly communicate with his mistress. He would have to rely upon other means.

Jade: Repeating himself till he gets the point across, then.

Circling Hexadecimal's throne, Scuzzy floated toward the looking glass, indicating the reflection with a gesture of his tail. He then projected Megabyte's likeness in his viewscreen as Hexadecimal watched, intrigued. He again replayed the scene about the mask bomb. He projected Megabyte's face again, only to have it dissolve into an image of Hexadecimal.

Chaos: .... Megabyte is trying to kill her again?
Jade and Decimal: (shrugs)

Hexadecimal thought she was slowly beginning to understand. Her mask switched first to a smile of pride, then to one of malicious contempt. "Oh, Scuzzy, how diabolical of you! So. Megabyte has the upper hand, does he? True, he has had all the fun in trying to ruin Mainframe.

Decimal: (as Hexadecimal) I'll have to take him and Mainframe out.

I think I know of a way I can ruin him and Mainframe, too!"

Decimal: See?
Jade: (sighs) Chaos viruses.

Scuzzy purred in contentment as Hexadecimal's cackle filled the air and echoed off the walls of her lair.

Chaos: Scuzzy had long since deactivated his audio sensors. He lip-read very well.

* * *

Hack and Slash were busily chasing Nibbles around the Tor so they could take him for his daily walk.

Chaos: Whoo! Null-running!
Decimal: Null-running?
Jade: It's a theory she developed. Nulls can get fat if not chased around so that they run off the fat.
Decimal: ....
Jade: I don't get it, either.

He was being stubborn today, and unless they could get his null-sized leash on him within the next millisecond, they would be in big trouble;

Decimal: As the disgusting little creature wrapped around them and drained them dry.
Chaos: Deci!

Megabyte had been in a foul mood lately and they certainly did not want to make him angrier than he already was.

Jade: That way lay madness and target practice.

His failure to turn the guardian had made him sour, and no matter what Hack and Slash did to cheer him up worked.

Jade: In retrospect, dumping Nibbles in Megabyte's lap so they could spend time together may not have been the brightest idea.

"Nibbles, come here, my little friend!" Slash cooed, jangling the leash to get the null's attention.

"Walkies!" Hack echoed, zooming after Nibbles using his jet pack.

Jade: (frowns a bit) Maybe it's just me, but that's not going to encourage a screen-cat, much less a null.

The null would have none of this, and the two bots were practically at their wits end in trying to catch him. The null screeched and moved faster than either of the henchbots imagined was possible, zooming across the Tor, up the arm of Megabyte's throne, where the virus sat brooding, and into his outstretched hand, only to get squeezed mercilessly.

Jade: (raises an eyebrow, glances at Decimal) Pansy?
Decimal: (mutters) Didn't know he could do that.... Some good armor, he's got.
Chaos: (screeches like a null)
Jade and Decimal: (jump)

"Hack, Slash..." Megabyte rumbled menacingly.

Jade: Smoke and ash drifted out in greater and greater clouds. Geologists urged evacuation.

"Uh, oh," Hack said, trembling.

"This cannot be good," Slash said, clattering just as hard.

"We're in for it now."

"We're done for."

Chaos: We are so target practice for ABCs.

"We were just trying to help."

"We thought you looked so depressed."

Chaos: And there was this mail in our inbox about cheap-
Jade: No! Bad Chaos!

"We wanted to bring Nibbles for a walk--"

"So you could have time to cheer up--"

"But that didn't work because--"

Jade and Decimal: (have a strained look on their faces)
Chaos: Meffle. You wimps.
Jade: I'll thank you not to mock my issues. I don't- Well, yes, I do mock yours, but don't mock mine anyway.

"Will you two imbeciles be quiet?" Megabyte growled. Hack and Slash instantly stopped jabbering and froze. "I'm beginning to wonder why I assembled you in the first place; all you do is cause me headache after headache."

Jade: (as Megabyte) And dear Miss Matrix is blocking me from purchasing any pain-relief patches.

"Sorry, boss!" the two bots whined in unison.

"Now make yourselves useful and go... see what my sister is doing for a change. I could do with the silence."

Decimal: (as Megabyte, thinking) They'd be suspicious if I sent them directly down to the firing range....

"Right away, boss!" Slash said, snapping to attention and saluting with a loud clank.

"You can count on us!" Hack said, emulating his twin and knocking himself over with the force of his salute.

Jade: (sighs) Wacky neighbors or bumbling minions....
Decimal: This is why I don't try to fulfill my function. (shrugs)
Chaos: But isn't your function to-
Decimal: Quiet, you!

"Hack!" Slash exclaimed, rolling over to his grounded counterpart, "speak to me! You're too young to end file! Oh, Hack!"

Jade: Those stinkin' elves! They killed Fritz!

Megabyte rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hand. "Oh, for -- stop your blubbering and go!"

Chaos: Are you sure this isn't a recording of the actual events?
Jade: That's illegal in the Net. You can't ship recordings out to the Users, and any discovered recordings have to be destroyed.
Chaos: We'd better not tell anyone about this, then.
Decimal: We get to blow something up!
Jade: No, to both of you.

* * *

Hexadecimal was hard at work,

Chaos: Painting a bootyful picture of herself.
Decimal: Bootyful?
Chaos: It shows a lot of-
Jade: (sighs loudly and puts his head in his hands)

creating just the kind of bauble that Megabyte would want, and that she, of course, would give him. She would not let him have it easily however.

Decimal: They'd have to wrestle in a puddle of mud for it.

She was aiming at total humiliation, and it would only happen if this was executed perfectly, to the finest detail.

Decimal: (sighs happily) Aunty Hex is such a wonderful actress. She thinks of everything!
Chaos: Get Enzo's mechadog in on it, if you want total humiliation.

A group of nulls were gliding around her as she performed her task;

Chaos: They liked the way she sparked when she worked.

her good mood attracted them to her, and she delighted in their company as she played with the device she was programming.

Jade: (watches, eyes narrowed)
Chaos: Ooh! Buttons!

"Now," Hex mused to herself, "how do we delete two nulls with one command?" The nulls around her all froze, emitting screeches of varying pitches.

Decimal: Little energy-sucking rats. I hope she deletes you.
Chaos: (growls) I like nulls.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Hex said, smiling apologetically, "it's just a figure of speech." The nulls relaxed, then went back to their circling.

Decimal: (mutters) Like wolves, waiting for their prey to falter.

"Megabyte needs to be convinced that I'm creating some form of weapon... something that he will want to use to get to the Super Computer. He'll do anything he can to get it away from me, and he'll unleash its power!" Hex cackled once more, her glee making the nulls circle even faster. "Oh, isn't it perfect, Scuzzy! I'll get Megabyte and Mainframe all to myself!"

Decimal: (blinks, looks slightly confused)
Chaos: I thought joining code that closely related was wrong?
Jade: (firmly) It is, and she didn't mean it that way.

It took Hexadecimal several milliseconds and a rude interruption by Hack and Slash

Chaos: Can we do some Hack'n'Slash dialogue, pleases?
Jade: (eyes widen, flings himself away from Chaos)
Decimal: (watches Jade) That'd be a no.

for her to complete her little toy, but when it was finished, she held it in the palm of her clawed hand and, with one finger, closed the little hexagonal box. Then, she smiled.

Jade: The dimming light caused her knitting-needle teeth to flash.

Her moment of pride was short-lived, however, because soon after she closed the program, she heard a rather large bang coming from the entrance to her lair.

Decimal: Another sheet of metal had fallen off, squishing unpleasantly squishy things.

Soon after, two voices chimed in unison, "Hexadecimal!"

"Oh, look, Scuzzy!" Hexadecimal cooed, after recovering from her surprise. "What a perfect opportunity to advertise my new toy!"

Jade: (as Hexadecimal) Dot is offering free billboards as part of a promotion! I'll just take a couple to set up around the Tor....

Grinning maliciously, Hex called sweetly to Hack and Slash, "Hack! Slash! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Sur...prise?" said Hack.

"What?" said Slash.

Chaos: (Slash, thinking) Bad sign, bad sign, bad sign!

Both began to scream in unison as the ground beneath them suddenly swallowed them up. They slid down the slide into Hex's lair and landed in a heap at her feet.

Decimal: Parts fell off of them in fright, clattering loudly as they hit the ground.

Scuzzy floated over to them and sniffed them. He made a noise of disgust and turned his back on them as Hex waltzed toward the heap of broken bots. "Greetings, gentlemen! How nice is was for you to drop in!"

"It was our pleasure!" Slash said, moving his hand from somewhere in the pile of scrap metal.

"Megabyte wanted us to pay you a visit," said Hack.

Chaos: (as Hack) Our general ineffectiveness made us suitable for this high-profile fact-finding mission.

"Hey, shh! We weren't supposed to tell her that!" Slash scolded.

"Oh, right. Sorry. We decided to visit you because you're such a charming lady."

"That's better."

Chaos: (as Slash) If slightly unrealistic. Go with it, though.
Jade: (as Hack) Shh! Trying to talk to the chaos lady!

Hex beamed. "Well, I am irresistible! Whatever can I do for you?"

"Well," Slash began.

Jade: (ducks and covers) No, no, no, no!
Chaos: (eyes Jade askance)

"We're not really sure."

"Yes. Megabyte said--"

"SHH!"

"I mean, we thought--"

"Yes, we did think!"

Jade: (looking up) They don't have the processing power for that.

"Would you let me finish?"

"Sorry."

Decimal: -For not remembering important details like not telling who we're working for. It's not like I was built on a budget or anything!

"We thought we'd uh.... drop by to see what you're doing. You've been sooo quiet lately and we were wondering what you were up to."

Jade: I am a virus. I will not be cowed by annoying dialogue. (sits back down on the couch)
Chaos: (looks up from her position on the floor) You left me!

Hexadecimal grinned. This was perfect. How lovely for Megabyte to send his low-density henchmen to find out her plans. They were ever so gullible.

Decimal: Why, she'd once managed to convince them that 'gullible' wasn't in the dictionary files.

Things were falling perfectly into place. "Why Hack, Slash, why ever would you think I'm up to something?" she asked innocently. "Well, never mind. I've been awfully bored and lonely.

Jade: Danger! Danger! Danger!
Chaos: Stock the humanoid!
Decimal: (looks at Chaos oddly, shakes his head)

I've been hoping for some company. I think I'll call Megabyte and thank him!"

Decimal: (as Hexadecimal) Thank you, Megabyte, for giving me these nice sets of spare parts! I shall love them forever, though I will turn them into something pretty like a missile platform.

While she was using her mirror, Slash said to Hack, "Doesn't she seem to be acting a little... random?"

"Of course she's acting random, buddy of mine!" Hack replied, "she's a chaos virus. She's always random. Everything looks normal to me!"

Jade: Your definition of normal involves taking a null for a walk. Nulls don't have LEGS!
Chaos: They're the kind of legless Reboot creature I'd want to be.

"Oh. Right."

Hexadecimal, meanwhile, was talking to Megabyte. "Why, hello, dear brother! So nice of you to send your goons here to visit me. I was so lonely..."

"What are you talking about? And what is that you are holding?" Megabyte sneered at the item Hexadecimal was holding in plain view.

Chaos: It's a thingy! (reaches out a hand as if to touch it)
Jade: (sighs tiredly)

"What, this?" Hexadecimal said, holding up the Medusa. "This is my new toy."

"A toy, Hex? Whatever does it do?"

Chaos: (sings) It goes zip! when it moves, bop! when it stops, and whrrr! when it stands still.

"That," the chaos virus said with a smile, "is for me to know and for you to find out."

Decimal: (as Megabyte) All right. Hack, Slash, apply the Mary Sue.

Megabyte suddenly smiled. "Is that so? Hack, Slash--"

"Uhh... boss?" said Hack. "We're sort of indisposed right now..."

Chaos: (as Hack) Seeing as we're heaps of junk metal on the floor. - Um, you're going to get us repaired, right?
Decimal: (as Megabyte, frostily) If I remember to when I come from Hex's new toy.

"Oh, you fools!" Megabyte huffed. "Fine. I shall simply have to do it myself!"

With that, Hex's looking glass went dark. Hexadecimal squealed with joy.

Jade: (as Hack'n'Slash) Bad sign, bad sign, bad sign!

* * *

After shipping the smashed Hack and Slash back to Megabyte,

Jade: The binomes in the machinery shop were used to holes in reality that dumped Hack and Slash on them.

Hex sat in her throne and waited. "I can't wait to see the look on Megabyte's face when he storms in here demanding the Medusa," Hex told Scuzzy. "Think of the mess he will make. We'll have all of Mainframe under control when he turns everything to stone!"

Decimal: Don't think stone conducts electricity very well.
Chaos: Ssshhh! (scribbles something on the floor)
Jade: (eyes Chaos) That Rebecca person's going to be upset when she sees that you're messing up the flooring again.
Chaos: She's already gonna be mad about the wall. (shrugs)

Unable to contain herself, she cackled.

A large BOOM resounded, then, as something big hit the tower of her lair. "Ah. It begins," she said in a sultry voice. Putting on her surprised face, she rose into the air and exited the lair to find Megabyte's ABCs trying to smash her lair to bits.

Jade: (as construction foreman) Nice and easy, just a little bit over.... Now, swing that wrecking ball!

As the ABC operators saw Hexadecimal, they immediately stopped firing.

Decimal: (as an ABC operator) Wasn't me.
Chaos: (same) Wasn't me.
Jade: (same) Definitely wasn't me.

"What are you doing to my lair?!" Hexadecimal shrieked, forming fireballs in her palms. The ABCs backspaced a few pixels and a vidwindow popped up near the tanks. It was Megabyte.

Jade: Dun-DUN!

"Are you causing all this mayhem, dear brother?" Hexadecimal crooned, turning her random mask on Megabyte.

"Why, of course, Hexadecimal. How else do you expect me to steal your new toy?"

Decimal: They're so obvious in their sibling rivalry.... (looks at Jade and Chaos) Nothing at all like you two.
Jade: Some of us have more style than others, all right?
Chaos: Puh-leeze. You are so unstylistic. Where are your shiny buttons?

"As much as I love the mess you're making,

Chaos: (as Hexadecimal) It gives me a chance to remodel in chrome.

you can't possibly expect me to give it up that easily.

Decimal: (as Hexadecimal) It'll take more than some random destruction to woo me. I want some explosives!

I may be random, but I am not stupid."

Megabyte chuckled. "Ah. Yes. Very good, Hexadecimal. I suppose I'll have to proceed some other way."

Jade: (as Megabyte) I'll have to have Hack'n'Slash distract you with some riverdancing!

He looked incredibly pleased with himself all of a sudden. "Go back to your scheming, I'm certain I'll find some other way to remove your prized possession..." The vidwindow snapped shut.

Decimal: Nearly taking of Hexadecimal's claw tips.

* * *

Back in her lair, Hexadecimal found that the Medusa was missing. "Why, Megabyte," she said to herself, "I didn't think you'd get it that easily. Let's see what you're up to."

Chaos: (looks up slowly)

She turned to her looking glass to watch.

* * *

"Corporal Smiley, you have succeeded brilliantly in your mission," Megabyte was saying, "Sneaking into my sister's lair while I was talking to her was a stroke of genius! How would you like a promotion?"

Jade: (as Corporal Smiley) As long as I don't have to do crap-ass things like that again, I'll be very happy.

"Oh, how wonderful, lord Megabyte," said Smiley, "you know it's always such a pleasure to work for you!"

"Yes, yes, I know..." Megabyte said, dismissing the binome. Turning to examine his prize, he said to himself, "Who is the winner now, Hexadecimal?"

Decimal: (as Hexadecimal, giggles madly)

* * *

Hexadecimal smiled to herself, trying to repress the feeling of control that she always got when she outsmarted her brother. She turned to Scuzzy. "Now, Scuzzy, who executed the true stroke of genius? This should be interesting... Now. If you'll excuse me, I have an act to play."

Jade: Ma'am, the lights are on and the stage is set.

END.

* * *

Off-screen voice: What happened to the wall?!

(Decimal and Chaos panic, then run away. Jade picks up his book again, glances at the TV.)

Jade: By the by, according to the e-mail I pulled off her computer, the winner is "A Springtime Correspondence" by Bluemuse.

Off-screen voice: Chaos! Decimal! Get your punk asses back here!

(Jade winces.)

The End

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