This is a Misting of another author's fanfic. This is for entertainment purposes only. Don't sue.
Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. This fic is by Trajku, and he may keep it. I really would have been happy without ever reading it. Anyways...
(Cue the Season 1 "Mystery Saiyan Theater Love Theme")
It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday AD
There was this guy named Vegeta
Who's way different from you or me
He trained at Capsule Corp.,
Just another weird cohort.
He did a great job training for the Game,
But Dr. Gero really hates Goku
So he shot Vegeta into space!!!!
(Prepare to die!!)
Gohan and Trunks:
We'll send him crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala)
Now keep in mind Vegeta can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because he wrecked those special parts
Instead of his friends;
SAIYAN ROLL CALL:
'Poppa! Calm down!'
'I'm not a Saiyan!'
'Only one "a", please.'
If your wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MST*
You should really just relax
for MYSTERY SAIYAN THEATER 3000!!!!
Satellite of Pain Interior
The interior of the SoP is sparsely furnished- think empty luxury suite, and you have the right taste. High ceiling, plush carpet, step leading down to the rest of the room from a counter, and two corridors leading offstage. Above one of the corridors is a sign that says 'Theater'. The counter takes up most of the foreground.
Suddenly, in a scene reminding one of Star Trek, four people appear in the room. They are Vegeta, Future Trunks, Yamcha, and Gohan. They had been preparing for the Cell Game, but...
A large viewscreen pops down from the ceiling, over the counter. Two men look out from it. Well, one man looks out from it, while the other fiddles with something in the background. The man looking out from it is rather familiar. In fact, it's Dr. Gero.
"Saiyans, welcome to the Satellite of Pain. You will not enjoy your stay."
"Dr. Gero!" Gohan shouted. "Uh, aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"I got better. Now, lets' get straight to the point. Before I turn off the oxygen to the bridge, go into the Theater."
"Uh, why are we here?" Trunks asked quietly.
"So, that I can torture some of Goku's friends! HA HA HA!" Dr. Gero laughed. "When you are insane, I'll return you to Earth just in time for the Cell Game!"
"Isn't the Cell Game tomorrow?" Gohan asked.
"Normally, yes, but you are in an extra-dimensional pocket rotating the Earth in the shape of a satellite. Time doesn't apply the same way here as to the outside world! HA HA HA!"
"He's insane," Vegeta muttered.
"Oh yes, one more thing. There might be some unfamiliar names in the story. Here's an explanation."
A large book appears on the counter. Gohan wanders over to take a look at it.
"You know, this is thicker than The Handbook of Chemistry and Physics."
"Wrong one," Dr. Gero turns to the man in the background, "Send up the list of names, not the Bad Dub Lines from Funimation!"
The book disappears and is replaced by a sheet of paper. Gohan picks it up. "Let's see... Goten... Bra... Pan..."
"Now, go into the Theater!"
Suddenly, lights start flashing and sirens sound. The Theater sign is blinks on and off. Everyone looks around in annoyance.
"I said, go into the Theater!"
Trunks, Vegeta, Yamcha, and Gohan enter the theater and they each grab a seat.
>Dragonball E by Trajku
Trunks: What's E stand for?
Gohan: (shaking head) E is for Extreme.
Gohan: Extreme as in "Extremely bad".
>Let's twist the end of DBGT.
Vegeta: Let's not and say we did.
> Goku goes to heaven. Let's say that the
>Dragonballs were destroyed and so was Dende in a car accident.
Trunks: As Lucifer's new god-killing car performs far above
Vegeta: No, Kakarott was trying to get his driver's license again.
>can't get out of heaven due to new rules.
Gohan: Very well-enforced new rules to keep Father in.
> He has only one chance,
>which could affect him for eternity...
Yamcha: Would he be able to steal some of Princess Snake's
bras? And, if so, would the guy in charge accept them as payment?
Everyone else: Yamcha!
>Chapter 1: Super Saiyan!
Gohan: (exactly like Frieza) There is no such thing as a Super Saiyan.
>Trunks and Pan married.
Trunks: So, my past self is a child molester, eh?
> Goten married Marron. Tien married Bra.
Vegeta: Lunch killed herself in a grief-stricken rage.
Trunks: Getting a little dark, are we?
Vegeta: You would to if your daughter were married to Tien.
>and Marron have a 1/4 Saiyan daughter named Venix.
Gohan: Marron then changed the baby's name to Venus,
after divorcing Goten.
Trunks: (apprehensive) This isn't a Sailor Moon crossover, is it?
Vegeta: No, much worse.
> Tien and Bra have
>two 1/4 Saiyans, one for a boy, and the other as a girl.
Vegeta: (suspiciously) So, who is this boy that Bra is having a baby for?
Trunks: (panicky) Don't tell me it's a Ranma 1/2 crossover!
Vegeta: No, far worse.
> Kento and
>Kenta(the girl). Pan is preganant.
Yamcha: Kento and Kenta the girl what? Got Pan pregnant? A
verb would be nice.
Vegeta: (dryly) Oh, joy.
Trunks: What weird names these people have.
Gohan: Maybe they're pod people.
Everyone else: (turns to look at Gohan)
Gohan: (defensively) What?
>"Errrr...Ahhhhhh!" Pan screamed, "I didn't
think it would hurt this
Vegeta: The genes in this girl are seriously messed up. It didn't hurt Bulma this much to be pregnant, and she was just a mere human.
> "Breathe, honey," Trunks said comfortably,
Trunks: No, wait, don't breathe. It'd be better that way.
> "Ahhhh!, stop
>squeezing my hand so hard."
Vegeta: (looking at Trunks) What a wimp.
Trunks: That's not me!
> "One, two, three, one, two, three. Almost
>there mam. One more push," the doctor said.
Gohan: She's giving birth already! She was only pregnant a
couple of lines ago.
Trunks: (turning green) Does anyone else think this scene contains Too Much Information?
Vegeta: Only for a completely unnecessary scene.
> "Ahhhhh..." she yelled.
>The baby was there.
Vegeta: But then it wasn't.
> "Awww...Look at it. Definitely a boy. Wow,
>that's one power level. He's already at 1000!!!" Trunks said.
Trunks: Already! He was just born!
Gohan: Wow, Trunks, you're pretty dense.
Trunks: That's not me!
> It's gold!!! Ahhh!!! A Super Saiyan baby!"
> That's right.
>With the mixture of strong powers through Goku, Gohan, Pan, Vegeta,
>Vegeta's bloodline, and Trunks.
Gohan: A verb, Senator, we need a verb.
> That's one heck of a baby.
Trunks: Well, at least, this sentence has a verb.
>forget Bulma's smarts.
Vegeta: (sarcastically) Why not? How could smarts possibly apply to someone as powerful as this?
>Chapter 2: 3 Plus Kaioken Equals One Strong Baby
Gohan: Three what? Eyes? Arms? Noses?
>"Come on Traj, you can do it," said Trunks. "It's not hard."
Vegeta: Yes, dying is very simple. Painful, but simple.
>don't even use it, dad."
Trunks: No, I'm not suicidal. Pretty close to homicidal but not suicidal.
> "So? It's an easy attackf ro
Gohan: What the he- What kind of word is ro?
Everyone else: (looks at Gohan)
Gohan: (defensively) What?
> you that is
Yamcha: ...at driving women in insane. Just tease them lightly
with your tongue...
Trunks: Yamcha, please shut up.
Gohan: (shuddering) Too.. much.. information... Too.. much.. information...
Trunks: Great, we've lost him for a while.
> "Alright. Kamehameha!!!"
Trunks/Vegeta: WHAT! I/Trunks don't/doesn't know that attack!
> A big ball of energy flew from
>Traj's hands and blew up by another energy ball shot by Trunks.
Vegeta: So, a three-year-old can blow up your attack. Wimp.
Trunks: That's not me!
>"Impressive. Well done. Only three eyars
Gohan: So, you've got more than three ears, Trunks?
> and you can use energy
>balls. Great. Let's eat dinner now."
Vegeta: I suddenly have a bad feeling about this.
Vegeta: I just remembered that the author's name was Trajku.
> "Oh boy. Today's steak and
Gohan: Steak and mashed potatoes, the food of the gods.
> They finished their dinners slowly, rested up, and
>went back to work.
Yamcha: ...practicing with their swords.
> "Alright. This is sort of extreme, but you could
Gohan: It's called the "punch," tomorrow we'll learn the "kick."
> "What?" "The Kaio-ken.
Vegeta: What! Only Kakorott used that attack! (turning to
Trunks) Don't you dare teach that kid that technique!
Trunks: That's not me, Poppa!
> I don't use it, but your great-
>grampa Goku did it well. "
Vegeta: He was the only one who used it! Of course, he did it
well! Traj can not learn that attack, Trunks!
Trunks: Poppa, that's not me!
> Trunks began experimenting with Traj.
Vegeta: (hair turns golden) You ARE a child molester!
Trunks: (frantically) Poppa, THAT'S NOT ME!
>"OK," Trunks ordered, "Now!"
Gohan: ..You will die! There can be only one!
Everyone else: (Looks at Gohan yet again)
Gohan: (defensively) What?
> "Kaio-ken!" Traj bursted with energy.
Vegeta: ..and died horribly. The End. We can leave now.
Trunks: Poppa, why are you so dark today?
>"Ok, the Kamehameha." "Here goes. Kamehameha."
Gohan: Ah, yes, the good old Kamehameha.
> The ball burst
Gohan: Should I complain about the grammar?
Trunks/Vegeta: (decisively) No.
> To test his strength, Trunks flew in front of the
Trunks: So, apparently I am suicidal.
> He was blown away into a rock, not expecting such a power.
Vegeta: Fortunately, he did not survive.
Trunks: (to Gohan) Should I be worried?
>"Good law, son.
Gohan: That sentence was totally out to lunch.
Yamcha: Lunch? When did she come back?
> You must be at about 10,000 right now, excluding the
Vegeta: What is the point of excluding the Kaio-Ken? I am
going to kill this guy.
Trunks: I had better worry.
> Keep on training, and you could be stronger than even
Vegeta: (exploding) Before what?! Before he died?! No one will be as strong as Goku, except for me! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
>Chapter 4: Cargo
Gohan: ..will cost you $2 a pound for everything that exceeds
your given weight limit.
Trunks: Doesn't three usually come after two and before four? Can't this guy count?
Vegeta: You are optimistic, aren't you?
>"Cabulus!" yelled a pointy, small creature.
Gohan: Like a stalagmite?
> "Yes, oh great Orhal," said
>Cabulus. "I have a mission for you."
Yamcha: It involves fetching me some of Washu's bras.
> "Yes sir?" "The planet Earth has
>what they call Dragonballs.
Gohan: They also have what they call defenders, but you can ignore them.
> I want you to go there and get the balls.
Vegeta: ..of Kakarott.
>Then, we can wish for immortality. The planet Earth has
>warriors, but their strongest is gone."
Gohan: How do you know that Father was dead? You've never been to Earth.
> "Uh, sir." 'What is it!"
Gohan: It's a question mark, not an exclamation mark!
Trunks: Uh, Gohan?
Trunks: You been getting enough fiber in your diet lately?
> "They don't
>have any Dragonballs."
Trunks: Yeah, didn't you pay attention, Orhal?
> "What? What happened?" "The creator died."
Vegeta: ..in a car crash. How I don't know.
>"How!?" "Dunno, sir."
All: Neither do we!
> "Why wasn't I informed?" "I didn't find it
Vegeta: Looks like this guy is one of the walking dead.
> "Well, then Cabulus, see ya." "What...." Bang, bang, bang.
Trunks: Wait, did Cabulus just get shot?
>There was gas, but no person.
Gohan: So, Orhal became a gas, instead of a stalagmite?
> The evil Orhal didn't even use a
Vegeta: ..he never did. He was a pointy lump of protoplasm.
> He shot a energy ball and nailed him. "Arbo," yelled Orhal.
Vegeta: Ah, another weirdo.
>"Yes, yes, yes, Orhal," stuttered the character.
Trunks: (disbelieving) The character?
Gohan: Apparently, Arbo is an it.
> "You and your army go
>to Earth and take over the planet. I want something from that planet.
Vegeta: ..Specifically, I want its dragon's balls, but I'll settle for someone else's.
>It has well land,
Gohan: AAARRRGGGHHH!!! The grammar!!! It's so wrong!!
Trunks: We've lost him again.
Yamcha: Maybe they just want a good water supply.
Everyone else: (glares at Yamcha)
> so I don't want to destroy it." "Yes sir."
>strange red Arbo
Trunks: So, poor Arbo is definitely an it.
> called his men and went on their spaceship.
>said Orhal, "I guess we are now called Argo."
>Chapter 5: Test
Trunks: ..of champions!
Gohan: Those adventures were so annoying.
Everyone else: (Looks at Gohan)
Gohan: (defensively) What?
>"Errr..." Goku said. "I feel a strange KI
that's coming to earth for
Yamcha: Some guy is going to play B&D games with Mother
> No!!! They are extremely strong. Goodness gracious!"
Gohan: (singing) ..great balls of fire.
>"Sorry Goku, but you can't get to earth," said someone.
Vegeta: The someone turned out to be King Kai, who had come to wake Kakarott up from his nap.
> "Is there any
Yamcha: Of course. Just steal some of Princess Snake's bras and give them to the guy in charge.
> "Well," stated another person, "You can
attempt the ultimate
Yamcha: ..but first you have to get me Princess Snake's pink
Trunks: Yamcha? Are you all right?
> Go through extreme pressures of weather and powers
Gohan: We're not sure what powers, and we definitely aren't sure about why the weather matters, but go through this journey anyway.
> It's tough. No one has accomplished it before.
Trunks: (dryly) And yet you know that it can be accomplished.
Vegeta: (also dryly) ..but in a few months you'll see everyone from the Ginyus to that mutant mime doll doing it.
Gohan: Uh, Vegeta? That's DBZ, not this fic.
> Then, again, you
>are the strongest person in the universe."
Vegeta: No, I am the strongest person in the universe!
Trunks: No, Poppa, it's Go- Um, never mind.
Vegeta: You were going to say Goku, weren't you?
> "All right. I'm going."
Gohan: (Goku) Even if I have no idea where to begin the
Trunks: No, I wasn't.
Vegeta: Yes, you were! You're always stabbing me in the back with comments like that.
>"Wait! It's too risky. You could disappear
forever..." It was too
>late. Goku had already gone
Gohan: ..to somewhere over the rainbow.
>"Hey," Goku yelled, "I heard about that
thing where you can make it
>back to Earth.
Trunks: I've also heard about that thing where you can lose fifty pounds in thirty days.
> I'm willing to go for it."
All: We know.
> "Really? I assure you that
>not even one senzu bean could heal you if you made it out alive.
>You'll need at least three."
Vegeta: So, he needs three senzu beans to heal him when he gets out? It took three sentences to tell us that little?
> "Three! Well, I have to go anyway."
Trunks: No, you don't, I'm sure Traj could take care of it.
Gohan: Did you just listen to yourself?
>"Alright, you are the strongest warrior known."
Gohan: And that has what to do with anything?
Vegeta: WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING THAT?!? I'M THE STRONGEST!
Trunks: (sighs) Yes, Poppa.
>Chapter 6: Begin! Fast!
Gohan: End! Fast!
>"Ahhh!" Vegeta shouted. "Someone's coming
to earth!" "Dad, what'd you
>say?" asked Bra. "Evil...Warriors for domination.
Gohan: 'Warriors for Domination' needs your support! Send in
your donations today!
Trunks: I thought 'Evil Warriors for Domination' was a rock group.
Gohan: No, that's GWAR you're thinking of...
Yamcha: Told you someone wanted to play B&D games with Mother Earth.
Trunks: Yamcha, please...
> Gotta get Trunks and
Gohan: (turning to Vegeta) Why do you need to get Traj?
Vegeta: (growling) That isn't me.
> Vegeta blew out of the house at raging speed.
Gohan: (slowly) So.. his speed is angry?
> "Errr...He's as
>strong as Kakarot is. This is big.
Trunks: Most fights are.
Gohan: Will Mr. Satan show up then?
> Traj could be are only hope."
Vegeta: Traj could also be our only casualty.
Trunks: Dare to dream.
>Vegeta flew there in two minutes. "Dad! What'd ya doing here?"
Trunks: And why is your speed angry?
>"Start Traj training fast. GO crazy, 15-7 of training.
Trunks: No, Poppa. I'm not going to buy your training jeans.
Yamcha: So how is preparing for the World GO Championship going to help?
Gohan: Maybe he can challenge them to a game when they show up?
> This is big.
>Trunks, come here." He came and they talked about it.
Gohan: (Trunks) Poppa, I never really thought about you that
Trunks: (outraged) Gohan!
> "Wow, this is
Trunks: (glares at Gohan) This has nothing to do with what you just said.
> should get King Kai to train him.
Gohan: Ah, yes. The mysterious HIM.
> If only here could
Vegeta: ..people to there.
> At least we wished him back before it was too late."
Trunks: Who died?
Gohan: More importantly what did they wish him back with?
>whatever. They should come in about a year and a half. He'll be 4
>and a half by then, but he'll be strong."
Vegeta: Traj died?
>Chapter 7: Green
>Trunks trained Traj intensely. He reached up to level one
>one month after.
Gohan: (Traj) At last! I finally killed Morgoth on Dungeon Level 200!
> He could go to Super Saiyan level 2.
(Vegeta starts frothing at the mouth. Gohan, Trunks, and Yamcha edge away from him.)
> He somehow had
>a tail, but unfortunately couldn't control the power yet.
Gohan: No one can control the... (yelling ominously) Power of
Yamcha & Trunks: (look at Gohan)
Gohan: (defensively) What??
>Vegeta taught him the special full moon attack for intense times.
Yamcha: Even I won't go there.
Gohan: What did you do that for?
Vegeta: (still frothing) Not me!
>Goku went on his journey and still had a year and a half left.
Trunks: ..until the bank came for the bills.
>would barely make the battle.
Gohan: Dad hasn't made it to a battle on time yet. Why should this one be any different?
> Then, he would travel Snake Way.
>Vegeta knew this and hoped that something good would happen.
Trunks: He hoped that Traj would sacrifice his life, so that someone useful, like Goku, could take his place.
> He knew
>that the journey for Goku was tough, and he was frigtened.
Gohan: He was? My, he's changed over the years!
> Even if he
>had Trunks, Traj, Gohan, Goten, Pan, Kentor, Kenta, Venix, Krillen,
>Tien, Yamcha, ChaoZu, and I, we couldn't beat the guy.
Trunks: The author is going into the story?
Gohan: He already did that.
> He probably
>has an army with him as well! Vegeta thought.
Trunks: (slowly) Okay.
> That would be horrible!
>Good law, could Traj be our only hope... Crash!
Vegeta: Orhal is here. Let the carnage begin!
Trunks: You're back. Good.
> "I got it!, Vegeta, I
>have it!" Bulma yelled.
Vegeta: A birth control pill that actually works.
Vegeta: You don't want to know.
> "Huh, Bulma, what?" "This chemical can
>DNA and add Saiyan to their DNA.
Vegeta: Wonderful! Put some in your blood, and I'll turn on the full moon, and we'll have a grand time.
> This could truly affect power
>levels. We could can Super Saiyans out of Tien, Krillen, Yamcha, and
Trunks: Canned Super Saiyans, the real food of the
Gohan: Why would you want to allow that little cancer patient the ability to go Super Saiyan?
> Plus, of course, Traj, Trunks, and Goten and Gohan.
Vegeta: They can already go Super Saiyan, Bulma.
Trunks: That's not Mother, Poppa.
>course." "Bulma, have you gone mad? Is this chemical true.
Gohan: No, it's an uncontrollable liar.
> Yes, it's
>taken me years, and the amount is small.
Vegeta: It's taken her years? All right, who are you and what
have you done with my mate?
Trunks: Poppa, that's not her.
Vegeta: I know that. I want to know what she's done with my mate.
> I have enough for three
>people to go to about half-Saiyan. Although I could get 1 more supply
>in the year and a half.
Gohan: (Bulma) You know, Vegeta, I could make another fortune
Trunks: (looking at Gohan) That's eerie.
> I'll need a sample though." "Hmmm...Krillen
>could be good. Tien too.
Vegeta: (howling) NO! Not him!
Yamcha: (raises eyebrows) I didn't know she was that kind of girl!
Vegeta: (starts throttling Yamcha and frothing) WHAT DID YOU SAY??
Yamcha: (makes choking noises)
Trunks: Poppa! Let him go!
Gohan: (turns Super-Saiyan and pries Vegeta's hands off of Yamcha's throat)
> I think we should go for Yamcha...no. Traj
>has to be a better Saiyan.
Trunks: Why? Go- Uh... He's the strongest person in the
universe, and look at him. He's not-
Vegeta:(interrupting) You are not going to make another comment like that.
Yamcha: (says nothing, but moves to other side of theater from Vegeta)
> He is only 3/8. Not half-saiyans, at
>least not yet."
Gohan: No, Tien and Krillan aren't half-Saiyans. They're human.
Trunks: I never took you for a speciest, Gohan.
> "With allowance, I could get Krillen and Tien
>shots. Traj on the other hand would need a operation."
Trunks: Just smile and nod.
Vegeta: Why should I do that? You don't.
> "Ok. Good."
Gohan: Gods. Vegeta you're acting stupid.
Trunks: That isn't him, Gohan.
>Trunks was in the supermarket shopping for food.
>be nice. Maybe pork instead.
Vegeta: You call that training?
Trunks: For the last time, Poppa, that isn't me!
> Ahh...who are you. Namek."
Gohan: He met a Namek while he was shopping for dinner?
Yamcha: Don't you know that it's rude to answer your own questions, Trunks?
> "Why, I've
>been looking for you. Ever since Dende died, I was sent here to
>recreate the Dragonballs.
Gohan: So, since Dende died this weirdo was coming?
(suspiciously) Was he the one who killed Dende?
Trunks: Great, now Gohan is starting to crack.
> Unfortunately, I took years of hardship in
>slavery and punishment.
Trunks: Dende's been dead for years?
Gohan: No, he's been stuck in this fanfic for years.
> You are Trunks I know. My name is Lark. I
>am here to become Kami."
Vegeta: Why else would you be here?
> "Why, this is strange. Dragonballs! Of
>course. Just what we need. Dragnballs.
Gohan: Well, you are going to have a big fight.
> This is great." "But it takes
>me a long time to make the dragonballs."
All: How long?
> "How long?" "Dunno. Haven't
>tried them yet."
Yamcha: (from far side of theater) So, Lark doesn't know
whether They're easy or not.
> "OK...but great!"
Gohan: That sentence is so...
Gohan: No.. just off.
>Chapter 8: The Crush
Gohan: (ominously) ..of Pan on Uub!
Trunks: She's already married.
Gohan: Oh, yeah. Why do you molest children?
>"Trunks, you're ok with this, right?" asked the nervous Pan.
Yamcha: (Pan) I mean, it is okay with you if I sleep with Uub, right?
>worry hon. He'll be find." The DNA had worked for Krillen and Tien,
Gohan: So, they're part dinosaur now?
Trunks: (muttering) I don't want to know. I don't want to know.
>bringing them up to 3/8 Saiyan. They had both reached
Vegeta: (flat) Yay for them.
Trunks: Hopefully, Orhal will require a new Super Saiyan level to be achieved to defeat him.
Gohan: You're not listening to yourself, are you?
>but Traj was still stronger. After all, the original is
Gohan: Of course, the original self-insertion character is always stronger than those weak copies, the actual series characters!
> "This should bring Traj up to 90% Saiyan. The fact
>he's already part-Saiyan will increase his DNA," explained Bulma.
Yamcha: What is he? A battery? Are we charging him?
>will be fine." Traj was on the operation bed. They did the operation,
>but Traj's age didn't help out. He was in trouble and fainted.
Yamcha: Now Bulma's a child molester, too?
Vegeta: (glares at Yamcha)
Yamcha: Uh... Never mind.
>tried to bring him back, but lots of things were happening. Pan
>panicked, the electricity was overusing,
Gohan: What was the electricity overusing, oh mighty author?
Yamcha: Apparently, Traj. I guess he is a battery.
> and unfortunately, Traj died.
Gohan: And this is unfortunate because...?
>He was in the other dimension.
Vegeta: And hopefully, he would stay there.
> "The only good thing about this is King
Vegeta: ..and the fact that Traj is dead.
> said Vegeta. "Lark must finish the dragonballs. He must!"
Gohan: Vegeta relying on someone else? Having a daughter has
certainly mellowed you out!
Vegeta: (muttering) If I kill the brat, Goku will want to kill me... I should kill the brat!
Trunks: (cautioning) Goku can't get up here.
>Chapter 9: Closing Up
>"King Kai, Vegeta told me,"
Yamcha: A verb would be nice about now.
Trunks: "Told" is a verb.
Yamcha: A clue would be nice about now.
> Traj said. "His training will do me well.
Gohan: (howling) AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!! The grammar!
Yamcha: We're losing him.
>I got to go fast." Traj flew fast getting to King Kai and reached
Yamcha: (incredulously) Traj can fly? But he's only three!
>there in a day. His training began.
Gohan: How does King Kai train people, anyway?
Yamcha: First, you have to make him laugh.
Gohan: Oh. I guess Vegeta wouldn't get to be trained by him, would he?
Yamcha: No comment.
> "That was a good joke. A talking
>dog! hehehe. Now, you must catch my pet monkey, Cuddles."
Yamcha: The old boy is getting senile, huh?
>Traj took a few seconds to accomplish this.
Gohan: (Traj) Those races with Mr. West sure helped me speed
Gohan: You guys never read DC comics, do you?
Everyone else: (shakes their heads)
Gohan: (muttering) Heathens.
> "Hmmm, you wil take a far
>more advance training than this. I've only done this training
>secretly with Goku. This will be intense."
Yamcha: Hmm.. Hey, what was that secret training he was
doing with Goku?
Trunks: (flaring Super Saiyan) THIS IS NOT A YAOI FIC!
> King Kai's antenna-like
Yamcha: The solar radiation must have mutated him. Last time I saw him, he had antennae and ears.
> jiggled and Traj fell. The gravity was changed to 100.
>"Don't worry, Traj, you'll get used to it." "Oh, ah, errrr, umph."
>Traj managed to get up. "Good. 500!"
Gohan: Forty-nine h's.
Trunks: Why do you think that we care?
>Interestingly enough, Traj managed again to stand.
>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Traj faltered.
Gohan: A hundred-thirteen h's.
Trunks: (whispering to Vegeta) Isn't obsession with detail a form of insanity?
>He took a few minutes to get up. "Once more. Two thousand."
Gohan: A hu-
Trunks: (interrupting) Let's just say that there are too many exclamation points and leave it at that.
Yamcha: (still from the other side of the theater) The kid's
dead, and now King Kai's torturing him? What did he do to get sent to Hell?
> "Good. Stand and
>walk to me." It took Traj about 15 minutes to reach five feet after
>standing up. "Umph. Hey, it's light here." "I know. I've kept
>Earth's gravity near me." "Oh." "Traj, you have increased your power
>level times 1,000. You are at leve 1 billion! You must be in huge
>pain. I feel bad to hurt a young boy, but you'll be all right."
Yamcha: (eyebrows shooting up) WHOA!
Trunks: (warningly) If you say one more thing about child molesting...
Gohan: Yamcha, what is with your obsession with child molesting? What's the real reason you broke up with Bulma?
Yamcha: (walks over and hits Gohan upside the head) Yah! My hand! What's your head made of? Bricks?
>I need rest...One billion. Wow!" "Yes. Goku was not as succesful.
>He's still very strong. You could be the strongest warrior once Goku
Vegeta: What?! Nobody is allowed to kill Kakarott but me!
Trunks: He's already dead, Poppa.
> "What? My great-grandfather is alive!" "He's coming.
Trunks: Well at least, he's not 'comming'.
Trunks: Most bad fanfic authors don't use spellcheckers, I've noticed.
>Anyhow, we must train. You'll have a week's rest, and then
>train for the rest of the year till Goku comes for you."
>Meanwhile, Goku was blazing. He had a lot to go.
Yamcha: ..and the bathroom was at the other end of Snake Way.
> He was Kaio-Kenning
Gohan: Once more, an amateur writer makes a verb out of a noun.
>every five minutes and was hurting badly. "Errr...I
got to go fast.
>If not, I'm doomed."
>Chapter 10: Time
Gohan: (singing) Too much.. time on my hands. I've got too
much.. time on my hands.
Vegeta: I've noticed.
>"Hmmm," said Arbo. "How much longer till
Earth?" "Five days, sir."
>"Good. Their time of freedom is almost over. HAHAHAHA!"
Vegeta: Is our time of freedom about to begin?
>"Hmmm," said Lark. "These Dragonballs will
take another seven days.
>Hopefully the enemies won't come by that time."
Trunks: Lark, you really should pay attention to what's happening elsewhere, or otherwise you just won't cut it as Kami.
> "That's cutting
>close," said Gohan.
Gohan: Man, I was hoping I wouldn't get sucked into this fic.
> "Vegeta won't be happy."
Yamcha: He never is.
> "For now you'll have to
>try hard. I'm can't do that well."
Trunks: Gohan, when did you get the lobotomy?
Gohan: That's not me, Future-boy.
>"Errr. I see the door closing. AHHHHH!!! Kaio-ken
times 50!" Goku
>blazed. He ran out of energy right in front of the door.
Vegeta: So, why doesn't Kakorott just step through? Better yet, why didn't Kakarott just GO SUPER SAIYAN!!
>lightning struck and he was weakened.
Trunks: Worst case of authorial deus ex machina I've ever seen.
> "Ohhh. Gotta go." Goku crawled
>over as the door of heaven closed. "Ahhhh...I gotta get there." His
>feet got caught in the door, and he pushed and pushed. He barely made
>it out and was now alive. Too bad he was in such pain. "No. I gotta
>reach King Kai's."
Vegeta: Why? King Kai's is in the "next dimension."
Trunks: I think we can leave now.
SoP Interior (as opposed to the exterior)
Everyone is standing around the room. Gohan is holding his head and is flickering in and out of Super Saiyan. Trunks is trying to get Gohan out of his stupor.
"Come on. We know it was bad. But look at it this was, we will never have to find out how it ends, because the author didn't finish the fic," Trunks says to Gohan.
The previously blank viewscreen comes to life showing the dear Dr. Gero once more.
"What do you mean, the author never finished the fic? I've got two more parts down here for you read, Saiyans."
Everyone starts screaming.
On to Part 2!